But no word, no shape, no photograph could ever twist so far that it could begin to explain even a little bit of how I feel.


Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody.

I'm tired, Can i just stop acting strong already? Can I just stand on the road and wait for a car to crash on to me? Can I just start taking antidepressant drugs? Can I just die NOW?

Sigh I don't know what got into me these few days. I'm really weak and vunerable. I want a place to escape to without having to face anyone, without having to act like i'm fine. Where did my optimism go? Right now i don't see hope in life. What happens when we die? I'm really curious to know that. Every day lately i just wish something will happen to me and i'll end up half dead in the hospital and I don't recognise anyone at all. I never got the point of life... I don't really care about it too.

No one really cares, no one would, they only mean it for that period of time and when that's gone, they are gone too. Alone. Naive. Selfish.

I hate me, i hate life, i hate everyone.
I need to get rid of this feeling asap. Help, anyone..?


30 day challenge:
Day #1: Current relationship status. If single, discuss how single life is.

It's good if you have your friends with you because you wouldn't need to be bothered by some other person. You have your peace and quiet. You have freedom. You can go flirt around with a new guy each day and who can give a fuck about it? But when you're all alone and your friends are MIA or half dead or just... gone, you don't intend to flirt around because you just don't feel like it anymore, while trying to find them your friends and yourself again, you will feel more alone than ever. Lost. Helpless. Broken promises. Empty words. Lying on the floor. Half dead. Staring at the ceiling. Imagining. Scared. Scared that no one will ever want you. Scared that you will be all alone. Scared that no one will love you. Scared that no one will be there for you. Scared that you will never feel it again. Sometimes you wish that someone will take pity on you and just shower you with love for once, but you got to remind yourself to remain strong because that just isn't how it works. The only thing that you're holding your hopes for is next time. They all say next time, but when is next time going to come? 1 year later? 5 years later? A century later? But time doesn't wait for me and I don't wish to wait for time anymore. Anticipation. I was never that patient anyway. Kill me or make me bisexual please.