Hellooo. It was the start of my exams today. It was alright. I wrote a really lame story which seemed pretty nice to me somehow because i'm a hopeless romantic. I don't even know why I turned it in though. I spent lots of time doodling on the papers because I was bored, and folded paper aeroplanes. Sighz, I forgot t do something important, ;/ I hope she won't be angry w me, we didn't talk much today :( Then straight home to dye back my hair, ugh. I'm really scared for tomorrow, because I gotta go see 2 dms, and there's chinese paper and social studies paper. I need moral support :( I don't feel like going school tomorrow! I don't like seeing dms, they are scary and I always seem to say the wrong things and get into deeper shit, I hope I don't say anything stupid. Anyway I'm really excited to be home because I love blogging here :)
Day 3; your views on alcohol and drugs.
Alcohol is fine to me because I don't get drunk easily, but i won't drink a lot cause it will spoil my liver. I just like the feeling I get, the crazy feeling I get when I'm super tired yet able to talk just about anything with anyone. I don't take drugs because its wrong, and I don't know how they feel like. \m/ I'm getting sake for 14th Oct! Hehe. Actually somehow I still don't really feel like going for 14th Oct. But no one's here to stop me, and say 'no, don't go, come with me instead' because I would actually be crazy enough to do it.
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'He says he doesn't know what love is. He says he has never felt it. Only has been told that it's something amazing and fantastic and wonderful... But he doubts he has ever experienced it.
This made me want to find the right way to explain it to him - or maybe just to myself - what LOVE is.
Because I've been there, it happened to me. I guess love is an instant thing. It's either there or not. And it happens so quickly, you don't even notice it.
When you meet with that special person the first time, you know nothing about each other. Nothing at all. And despite all the rationality something just happens. You want to spend hours with that person, you want to just listen to what he/she says - even if it would be a big pile of rubbish if it'd come out from somebody else's mouth.
He/she makes you laugh like no others.
You can be the strongest, most confident person in the whole wide World, but you just can't stop those shaky legs, don't seem to be able to put one sensible sentence together - nor stop talking because you are too worried it will get awkward and weird.
At the end of the night of your first date you wish time would stop there and then at that perfect moment - when only the two of you exist in the Universe - would never end.
You've just said goodbye 5 minutes ago but you already feel like you have many new stories to tell him/her.
You can't sleep because all you can think of how great you felt with that person and you are trying to figure how can it be so easy and smooth.
You get changed several times before the next date because you want to make sure you look your best and he/she just won't be able to take his/her eyes off you.
And then all of a sudden this person becomes part of your every moment in the day.
You can't focus at work, keep recalling those perfect nights together, call in sick because you want to stay in bed with him/her as long as possible, you are so proud of this person in your life that you want to introduce him/her to everyone from the local postman to you best friends and your family, and this is the person who is the reason why you cancel dinner with your best friend...
And then.. You realize that so much time gone past and that person is still there. And you became one very special and unique thing together that you never want to lose. Hopefully it lasts for a while.
But there are times when it comes to an end. And I don't know why. I guess as us, humans constantly growing, developing, making changes and decisions in our lives as individuals; creates the chance to grow apart.
And it hurts. And seems like the end of the World has came. And you suffer. Can't eat or sleep. Want to hate the one, think of every bad and negative you can just remember of but still can't hate him/her.
This is love. Still. Even if it's now making you suffer.
And then it starts again.
And you are putting your heart out there for someone else who might break it, but who cares when it's feels soooo good to have that warm and fuzzy feeling inside for whatever long it lasts? :)'
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Oh btw, why do you believe me when I told you not to, because I knew it would happen one day, me doing something stupid,
and when I want you to believe me, you wouldn't or just decided not to??
going off to dye hair now and study now, bye, x.