But no word, no shape, no photograph could ever twist so far that it could begin to explain even a little bit of how I feel.


But the pain reminds me that I'm still alive

 Reading this blog always makes me feel really melancholy. It reminds me of all the good times I've had. And all the equally bad times that comes after them. I don't even know why I hurt myself like that. I don't like this feeling of unwantedness. Everyone has someone that likes them or the other way around. But not me. Indeed, i'm grateful for my friends, I really love them, yet having someone that's around for me all the time, that would be nice. I'm trying my best to remain strong and independent, however when the going gets tough, i'm not sure how long I would be able to hold on for. I just miss that warmth of having someone constantly around to push me on and encourage me, going on cute dates together and never get bored of teasing each other and talking about our feelings and thoughts about the world. Perhaps i'm in love with the idea of being in love, i don't even know anymore.